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What does my soul say to me?

What does my soul say to me? That we are all Brightness Inspired. It’s said that, “You always have a choice.” No one ever said *seeing* the choice was easy. We’ve conditioned ourselves to not see our own choices. But we *can* decide to stop trying to cover up who we really are- brilliant and radiant- and start seeing where we repeatedly choose to hide.

My new favorite saying is, “When I grow up, I want to be honest”. I renounce this life spent longing for certainty! Renunciation doesn’t mean depravity, poverty- consciousness, or asceticism; it means renouncing all the ways we dive into the muck at the bottom of the pond to escape ourselves. It means giving up the weight of the secret whispers that are only heard in our own heads.
“I’m flawed.”
“I can’t trust myself.”
“I am not enough.”
I mourn for all of us who dirty up our tender, beating hearts because we think it will give us a sense of protection and control in our lives. Renunciation is about having the faith to live in an open-hearted and courageous way. If I don’t feel safe, I ask myself, What story am I clinging to? I realize that no story can save me. I ask, am I ready to see that the only thing that can grant me safety is renouncing the illusion of control? With true safety, I am courageous.
Realizing that true safety is never granted by control and constriction, I can be the space to hold my fears. If I’m no longer talking myself into constriction and fear,  I bear the openness of this space. Fears about the future, thoughts about losses, worries, concerns- they still exist, but they no longer tie to me where they are. They entertain me as they continue their march in my head, but I am more than what’s in my head.

I can no longer bear to hide in the dark: I have no choice but to let my own light rise! I’ve watched my thoughts and what I tell myself, and I can no longer believe them. I use the bottom of the pond to push myself up and burst through the water’s edge into the sunlight. There isn’t something worth covering in me, there’s nothing left to search for to hide under. I lay down this leaden suit of old beliefs and let it fall away and I stand here, in *home-space*. For that’s all there ever truly is. I always come back right here. When I leave, I suffer.

I no longer need to leave.


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