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Help for Self

Four Points of Self Soothing

Did you yearn for comfort and stability today? Have you soothed yourself today? Did you even think about it?

We all have difficult times. When the structure in our world seems to be crumbling, self care is usually the first thing to go in a crisis or stressful situation. Our minds are churning so much, trying to escape the pain that we spin around longing for the one thing that can make us feel better- someone to soothe us. While it would be great to have soothing family or friends (or even a counselor!) around 24/7, that usually isn’t possible. Well, how do we soothe ourselves then?

We can soothe ourselves until we’re strong enough to get back on our feet and walk our path. Comfort isn’t about chicken soup; it’s about feeling heard and loved.

There is a way to cope, a way to find some room to breathe. 

There are four things that all human beings need to bring a sense of safety, unconditional love, creativity and inspiration back into our lives. Without these four points, we can feel like something is “missing”.

I call them the four points of self soothing for stability.

If we hit all four points, especially when life is difficult, we will be nourishing our souls. We will learn to stay open in our pain and not contract and run away. Just as it’s very hard for a table with only two legs to be able to bear any weight, the same goes for the amount of stress we can handles in our lives.  It gives us the tools to build a structure of safety for self improvement, meditation practice, deep inner work or to just have more joy and mental clarity during the day.

If we hit all four points when life is just humming along, it allows you the stability to go within and explore deeper levels of spirit. If  we are constantly working to keep our table upright and centered, we won’t have the stability of mind to trust ourselves to explore beyond our normal perceptions.

I think about these four points as the four things needed in order for stability and strength and for me to find the balance in order to either bear my load or be centered enough to go within and explore my depths.

Think of these four points surrounding you wherever you go. One above, one below, one held in your left hand, one held in your right. Wherever you go during the day, you can always access them to help you find peace.

The first point I start with is the most grounding one. It is the one Below and is connected with the Earth.

The second point is the one that brings light and uncondiational love. It is the one Above and is connected with the Sun.

The third point is on your left side and brings joy and inspiration. It is the one to your left and is connected with the East.

The fourth point is on your right hand side and brings creativity and motivating energy. It is the one to your right and is connected with the West.

I’m going to be going into each point in more depth. Keep in mind,  it’s not a matter of trying to be perfectly balanced. What I’m trying to get you to consider is if you identify with one point, look at the other 3 and think about when the last time was that you did something for those points.  All are needed for a balanced human being but they all don’t necessarily have to be a perfect 25/25/25/25. I’ll be giving more detail as to how to do each point and help you regain your balance.


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