Go!

I can’t tell you how much I enjoyed Michael Carroll’s book “Fearless at Work”. While I had hoped I would enjoy it since Carroll is a teacher in the Shambhala lineage I study, I was overwhelmed by ideas and inspiration after reading his book. I love it when someone takes the next step in how to apply old teachings to modern situations. This is NOT a “been there, done that” book – this really is fresh!

Yes, I am intentionally not telling more because I want you to get this book. Put it on your Christmas list. Beg someone to buy it for you. Or leave a comment here and win a copy!

In my review I tell the story of how I finished it on a Sunday  nite and by Monday morning I got a chance to use what I had learned.

I won’t give the entire review away – but here’s a line that I felt was powerful for me:

Carroll celebrates our own inner wisdom which can be accessed at any time. He doesn’t give formulas for more productivity or how to run a better project team. Instead, he says that we all actually want to feel confident, more than anything else, at work.

Go here to read more about how to become confident and defenseless at the office!

Here’s a little snippet of how Marc got started:

Many years ago, he and friend, Shakti Gawain, sat at a kitchen table and scratched out a vision for a publishing company focused on human transformation. Today, Marc is the head of this company, New World Library. NWL is a major player in the publishing world of self-help books.  To this day, Marc remains passionate about providing people with the tools they need to live lives of extraordinary brilliance and well-being.

Please go visit and listen!

Just go here!

I’m adding a new section called “Jewels of Light” and here’s why. I have always been in love with the idea of Indra’s Net. It’s how I’ve always experienced the world and thought everyone else did too, until I discovered that they didn’t. Indra’s Net is an analogy for interconectedness. It’s the concept of dependent origination explained with beautiful imagery.

Here’s one version: ”Far away in the heavenly abode of the great god Indra, there is a wonderful net which has been hung by some cunning artificer in such a manner that it stretches out indefinitely in all directions. In accordance with the extravagant tastes of the deities, the artificer has hung a single glittering jewel at the Net’s every node, and since the net is infinite in dimension, the jewels are infinite in number. There hang the jewels, glittering like stars of the first magnitude, a wonderful sight to behold. If we know arbitrarily select one of these jewels for inspection and look closely at it, we will discover that in it’s polished surface there are reflected all the other jewels in the net, infinite in number. Not only that, but each of the jewels reflected in this one jewel is also reflecting all the other jewels, so that the process of reflection is infinite.” 
“The Avatamasaka Sutra” Francis H. Cook: Hua-Yen Buddhism : The Jewel Net of Indra 1977

This line is what I have always seen and felt.  “….there are reflected all the other jewels in the net, infinite in number. Not only that but each of the jewels reflected in this one jewel is also reflecting all the other jewels, so that the process if reflection is infinite”. This line is what I have always seen and felt. It’s not some fluffy concept for me. It’s why I wanted to write this blog; to remind other of their jeweled light and reflect it back to them. It’s the convergence of individual forms with our shared functions.

So, to acknowledge my current reality, I’m going to bring in some different reflections. Posts tagged with “Jewels of Light” may not be my original words ( at least not every time) but words from others that I want to share with you which reflect what I’m thinking.

Here’s a few more links if you’d like to explore the concept of interconnectedness:

• My favorite video explaining Indra’s net
• A musician talks about how Indra’s Net influences her work - Part 1 and Part 2
•  And in case you forgot, there are  numberless being to be saved, and there is no one to save. The delusion that causes this pain and suffering is this sense of separation.
• I found these very inspirational 
• Unique images- youtube video
• This is a thought provoking video series exploring Buddhist/ Eastern though and how Science is explaining the same concepts but in Western terminology. Humanists and Atheists take note!  You can utilize the depth of buddhist philosophy and use completely Western terms and not have to worry about deities or superstitious beliefs. Part 1 and Part 2 

So I was talking to a friend the other day who was exploring meditation for the first time. He mentioned his explorations to his mother who then launched into him about why does he want to be a Buddhist and give up all his worldly possessions. He was hurt by her assumption and tried to explain that he didn’t want to become Buddhist. He just wanted to be happier and find some peace. She told him to go pray on it. He was quite upset about this and asked me what I thought.

I, of course, had a response. Practicing mediation makes you a Buddhist about as much as swimming in a lake makes you a fish.

While I really commend Buddhism for bringing awareness of meditation to the West, I’m looking for my Christian brothers and sisters to speak up about Christian contemplative practices. Christians meditate too!!  Meditation is not just a “Buddhist thing”; it’s just more widely advertised.

Meditation is to allow you to listen and become aware of the stories we tell ourselves. Meditation that has the majority of Buddhist terms stripped out  is referred to as “mindfulness”. It’s still the practice of stopping our hectic lives and really *listening* to the present moment instead of making it into something else we have to go *do*. It’s about clearing away the clutter in our heads to bring about clarity and peace of mind.

Recently, I’ve been exploring Christian Contemplation practices and I’ve found a book which I really like. Now, Thomas Merton is really the Father of Christian Contemplation practices, but this book is by one of his students, Cynthia Bourgeault. The book is called “Centering Prayer and Inner Awakening” and the forward is written by Thomas Merton himself. I love the title and I love Cynthia’s voice throughout the book. She is familiar with Eastern meditative practices does a tender job of explaining the two. While Thomas knew D.T. Suzuki, he personally felt more at home in Christianity. However, he said he felt Christianity had undervalued the mystical traditions and gone more towards “the reification of concepts, idolization of the reflexive consciousness, flight from being into verbalism, mathematics, and rationalization”.  Eastern traditions have retained more of the “beyond words” aspects of mysticism, explaining why they’re still so popular today.

Cynthia writes: Dying to self means being willing to let go of what I want (or think I want) in order to create space for God to direct, lead and guide me into a truer way of being.

I feel that Eastern traditions and Judeo – Christian beliefs are brothers and sisters in the family of spiritual nurturance.  You may feel more in common with one than the other, but neither one should be disowned and abolished. One emphasizes dealing with your own thoughts and how you hide your inner radiance with stories that feed only egos and beliefs which have never been examined. The other emphasizes listening to the still, small voice of the Divine and how you can radiate that outward to others.  You can’t hear the voice of the Divine to share with others if you’re consumed with listening to the stories you’re still telling yourself and not existing in the present moment.. You can work hard and unearth all the wisdom inside of you but unless you take the next step and express that Divine Compassion, your wisdom as well still be covered up. Cynthia talks about both as allowing for us to be “continuously dying to self”.

While she points to Jesus’ struggle in the garden of Gethsemane, I find this to be something that I could find in any Buddhist book. (Without the reference to an external creator, of course). But the sentiment is exactly the same.

I really feel Cynthia’s book does a great job of bridging the gaps in understanding of these philosophies. There isn’t much instruction that I’ve ever heard about contemplation practices in Christianity in common church – goers. She explains why Christian contemplation is isn’t some “New Age” thing but a real, heartfelt tradition that more Christians could learn about in the hopes that it enriches their spiritual lives.

Feel free to talk to your local spiritual minister if you’re intrigued by the concept of Christian contemplation, but don’t feel like if you don’t that you’re not still one of God’s children if you also chose to include some traditionally Buddhist type meditations in your practice.
The mere fact that meditation and mindfulness practices have become so well-known is because people don’t currently have a practice which settles their minds. If you’re in pain, you seek a remedy for that pain. I wouldn’t avoid taking a medicine that is the remedy for my pain simply because I’d have to switch brands; if it works, it just works!

Do what feels true for you. You are the only one who can judge if you are being true to your own inner wisdom.  I’m hoping this prompts you to explore and ask “Does this work for me?”

In my cube at work I have a picture that my seven year old niece made for me at Easter.   She loves to draw, as most little girls do. She will draw a picture with anything on anything. So at Easter, when she felt the urge she pulled out a school notebook and started drawing. I think she’s the slightly shorter one in the picture. She has the speech balloon pointing to her mouth, and it’s filled with love. I wonder how aware she is that her speech contains that much love.   Judging by the picture, I think she’s quite aware. The representation of me has a big smile on my face so I must be enjoying it.

Anyway, I remember watching her just run off with paper and very shortly thereafter, come rushing back with this picture. She was so calm when she showed me. She didn’t say I hope you like it! She just said This is for you, Aunt Leann!

After I accepted it and told her it was going up in my cube at work; she nodded her head and ran off with her brother. I got to thinking, I don’t come rushing up to people with what I’ve creatively brought forth and just say Here you go! At work (significantly less creative) I am checking and re-checking and it still takes me 30 minutes to press the send button when I have to send my document out for review (last-minute, of course). With the blogs I write here; I’m not standing on a street corner handing out the URL. Why is that? What happens to us past the age of 7?

My niece is reflecting back to me her perception of the time we had just spent together. She feels it, she expresses it. She didn’t worry about good enough or will I like it. It’s hers – why isn’t that good enough? I love that about her. If I had her sized pinky’s worth of her self-confidence to sell I could retire.

She also didn’t seem especially excited that I would hang this up at work. At first, I thought it was because she probably had no idea what a cube was. I thought about showing her this post with cubes. When I got home that nite, I realized the misunderstanding wasn’t with her; it was mine. She didn’t need her work displayed for others. She didn’t withhold her art until I could promise a place of worth to display it. She just expressed.

How many times do we put off creative endeavors that our heart ached to do?

How many times have we heard a tune and thought we could write words to it?

How many times have we seen nature and wanted to paint it, but didn’t?

I had to ask myself, how many words have I not written in this life because “I have better things to do”.

“Better”? What could be deemed better than following that thing that gives us life? What is more meaningful than noticing a nudge towards creativity – whether on canvas, in music or on paper – and given it form? Do we really need to beat it out of its original shape in order to be declared ”worthy of my time”?

There’s one big thing I’ve noticed since I started writing this blog and it’s something to ponder when you’re exhausted from a long day. On the days I write, I have more passion for the rest of my life. I can now tell when I don’t write. I’m crabby(ier) than usual. If I don’t meditate AND I don’t write, don’t bother talking to me. Writing plugs me into energy that lifts me up and inspires me all day. I think of more original ways to solve problems at work. I’m clearer in my thoughts. I have more patience, and I could use every ounce I can get. Writing – or any sort of unearthing the creativity that’s so alive in a seven year old  - gives your life meaning. It gives you something to love, not to build. It allows you to be, not to do. Ava lives this. She is not of the age to ask What’s the use?.

I’m glad I wrote that day so I could enjoy the energy of a seven year old teacher….

If you’ve never worked in an office before,  here’s a picture of a cube farm. Yours may vary slightly.

See the color of those cubes? What color is that? I’ve wondered for 15 years now. They’re always the same color. If any of you manufacture these things, can you please tell me what the CMYK color code is? Beige? Gray? Brown? Tan?

Maybe you are lucky enough to work in your own office.  Ah, an office! With a window! And a potted plant! And your own coffee pot!

Maybe you work out of your home. Then I pray you don’t have a cube. Unless you design cubes for a living, then I could see you having one. But if you design cubes and you have one, you would very quickly realize that this is not a very good design if you want someone to be sane.

Maybe you’re a hair stylist, and you have a station. I’ll bet you have a mirror and a very big one. And scissors. I bet you’re never having to hunt down a pair of scissors.

Maybe you’re a sales person. Maybe you visit other people’s cubes.  Or offices. I hope you only have to visit offices so you can keep your sanity. I’ll bet you spend a lot of time in your car.

Maybe you’re a mom. So you have small humans. They have needs. Wherever you go, you’re a mom. Mom momomomom I want a cookie!!!!

Regardless of your job title, most people have at least something they do day after day. They repeat it. Over and over again. Some people go to the same place even. Some people get to vary their location slightly by visiting clients and driving to different locations. Some people work different job sites where they swing a hammer or hang or paint things.

Where does your mind go to work? What does your mind do while you’re doing your job? If you say, well I think about what I’m doing and I have very complicated things to think about, well, that’s one place. But eventually, you get a break. In between customers. In between projects. In between phone calls. At some point during the day, there is a moment when you are not talking to someone, writing about something important, being nagged to get a cookie for someone.

See, when you’re in your cube or doing whatever it is you do, you just “keep pushing”.  We sit or stand or run in our normal, repetitive environments, and keep pushing our minds down the same tracks.  We make well-worn groves in our minds that “when I am in this physical space my mind must work”. So the only thing hard about “finding time to meditate at my job” isn’t so much about finding the time. You have time – at least eight hours! The hard part is jumping out of that grove and stopping. Seeing that there is nothing that will explode immediately if you just stop and feel where you are in the present moment.

At some point during your day, there’s a pause. Maybe when you go to the restroom. Notice, it’s called a restroom, not a “I have to hurry up and do my bodily functions so I can run off to my next meeting and oh my dog I have no idea what I’m going to say” room. It specifically says “Rest”.  Sometimes that’s the best place to meet up with your mind again. To say “Hey! I recognize you! I’ve seen you around!” It’s been my favorite place to meditate for years.

Your mind will try to tell you that you have to *finish*, you have to *go*, you have to *do*.  But in the Resting Room, you don’t have to. This is Sacred Space – in a stall.

Go find your Sacred Stall

If you have no idea what you are thinking and your thoughts are still fast and furious, just notice that. Keep checking in with how you’re breathing. Don’t try and change it- just notice it.  Sit for a few minutes and notice what’s going on inside of your head. Notice how your body feels during the thoughts. Notice you do not have the exact same word in your head for more than a brief moment. You might have different words about the same subject, but no one word stays in your mind. Thoughts pass, that’s what thoughts do. Our minds think, that’s what they’re designed for.  If you have emotions come up while you watch the thoughts, notice them. If you feel something someplace in your body, notice that too.

This sitting is not about NOT having thoughts, this sitting is becoming aware of what is already there. The myth that mediation is all about getting rid of thoughts is just that – a myth. Our minds are designed to have thoughts. The problem is, we have becomes so identified with the mind – “I think, therefore, I am”- that we have forgotten that this is one big, gray squishy tool. Our minds have come to rule us. Instead of us using it as a skillful surgeon uses a blade – to cut thru and see what’s beneath. We find ourselves feeling anxious, or angry, or scared and believe that’s who we are. We believe it and there is nothing outside of us forcing us to! Why? What if there was a different way? What if you could see that these thoughts come and go and change and morph but… they do not define who we truly are? Could you imagine who you’d be without your thoughts? Do you have a sense of who or what that is? The “You” behind your thoughts?

That is the point of meditation. To watch what’s happening; to become aware that thoughts occur, but they are not the captains of this boat. That yes, Virginia, there really is something else behind the thoughts. That thoughts are here to help us, not rule us. We can use our thoughts to cut away at the illusion that we ARE the thought – to see that there is space between the thought and what is behind it.

For right now, just watch your thoughts. Watch them prance in your own head. Remember that even if your thoughts take you to 1879 or 2112 or last week, they are just thoughts, they will pass. Can you come back to the present and start watching your thoughts all over again?

When you try it, feel free to post your experience in the comments section below.

You may have heard our minds are like training a wild elephant or wild horse. I think in the modern world our minds could be likened to rush hour traffic. You think you’re going for a nice drive, but instead you become aware of the mass chaos that is actually your mind. You feel like you can’t control all these other drivers and they do stupid things you don’t understand. So, look up – into the sky. Is the sky clouded by the traffic? We have storms and smog and pollution, but is the sky polluted? If you keep going up,  where are you? Is the universe polluted? No, the universe has the space to hold this pollution.  Your mind is just like space. There is room to work with the atmosphere and the weather and the smog and the cars  and all the people in the cars.

You have been training in wild mind as Pema Chodron calls it. You have been trained in the skilled navigation of getting thru this traffic. Meditation is about training your mind in stepping back and not becoming another obnoxious driver on the road. If you’ve never trained in how to move in outer space, you can’t conceive of the possibility.

So what we do in meditation is to just look over this city and observe. There are lives and loses and gains here, but we are simply observing. This does not mean we’re detached- we have a curious sense of compassion for what goes on in this world. Many people have never visited this city of mind and would be heartened to feel the joy within it! But we never get caught up in the story. We always return to watching what’s happening in the present moment. We balance curious compassion with observation skills from the sky over the city mind.

Many people say “Well, I can’t meditate, my mind jumps all over the place”. What would you expect; thus far, that’s all you’ve trained in! That’s like saying “I can’t learn to play the guitar – every time I try it sounds horrible”. That’s why you’re learning. You’re training. You practice.

So meditation practice really is about learning what is really going on with your mind, moment by moment. It’s not about having nothing going on upstairs, it’s not about silence. It’s about observation and keeping a heart of curious compassion for all that occurs. It’s about not following the stories in your head to their emotional conclusion, it’s about noticing them and coming back to the present moment. Over and over again.

If not, I want you to pray. Surrender. I don’t care if you believe in a God/ Goddess/ Almighty Spaghetti Monster. I want you to leave your desk, your car, your kitchen table and go outside and visit your  nearest place of worship. Yes, even if it’s 10 am on a Tuesday, I want to go and pray for at least an hour. Tell your boss you’re sick (you’re not even lying – you just don’t know how sick you really are) and go pray/ surrender.

If after you pray, you still don’t know what you are doing here – what fuels the life that you live – I want you to grab a Priest/ Rabbi/ Minister/ Holy Person. Ask him or her your questions, and see what s/he has to say. Ask more questions. If you don’t understand the answers (and you’ll know if you understand them because you’ll be able to answer the first questions) then find another Holy Person. If you run out of people there, go to another house of worship.  Or another city. If you run out of churches/ temples in your denomination, open up your phone book and find another one. Repeat the cycle until you’ve hit everything in your phone book. If that doesn’t work, go talk to people on the local street corner. Ask them your questions.

Keep going until you find one that has your answer. Keep branching out. If it sounds wacky, try it anyway. How has the non-wacky sounding plan worked for you so far?

If you have no building or institution near you, go do what you believe in. We’re trying to save your heart.  Your mind will tag along in this process.

If you have no faith, try one, or make one up.

You are human – it will come. It is a manifestation of what we all are, how we are built.